Part One of starting a family has come to its conclusion. After several years of dealing with infertility and over a year of different treatments that have taken their toll it is time to move on.
During church on Sunday we both got quite emotional and had to leave shortly after communion. As we walked to the car we both agreed that it just didn't make sense to invest more time and money in something that may never work. At the end of the day God is in charge, not the fertility specialist and we can align the stars over and over again, but ultimately God decides when life is created, not technology, not me, not Paul, only Him.
I am not sure exactly what happens next.
We are still coming to terms with our decision to end the fertility treatments. Month after month of waiting, hoping, praying, dreaming... Month after month i have cried for the child that we will never know.
I know with everything in me that God has a family for us...I just don't know exactly what that looks like. One thing is to get pregnant and start a family. The path is simple and set in motion from the moment of conception. With adoption there are so many paths with many different outcomes...I am confident that God will show us our path.
Welcome to our little space of the web.
After buying a cute little mill house in Five Points, renovating it and thinking we would never live anywhere else we decided to move. To a rancher. A pink rancher. So not us. But, it will be, with time, elbow grease and good contractors! From the first time we walked in the front door we knew we were home. The new house is right around the corner from my parent's house where I grew up. We are so excited for Matthew and Charlotte to grow up here, riding bikes, going to the pool, playing in the woods... my childhood was filled with freedom and wonder allowed by a safe neighborhood that I could explore and make my place in the world. I am thrilled we can give that to our children.
These days our blog is filled with the adventures of Mateo and Charlotte...mixed in with a few home projects and recipes. But mostly the kids take front and center. Join us on the adventure!
21.4.11
3.4.11
Abby's first birthday!
So last weekend, I made the long haul to Charlotte, NC to celebrate Abby's first birthday with Erin, Whit, mom and dad. We had a blast! Scroll down to see the pics of Abby's cake face - too cute!
Abby's First Birthday!
Abby's First Birthday!
Chicken Soup
In my previous post I talked about chicken soup for the soul...well, here's my chicken stock recipe that fills the house with the most amazing smell and fills my heart with joy at the simple things in life.
This is a recipe I have been tweaking for the last couple of years and the results are fantastic.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.
Take the carcass of a chicken you have previously grilled, baked, boiled, whatever and put it into a stock pot. I keep the pasta insert in the stockpot so that I can easily separate the solids from the stock. I throw in whatever vegetables I have sitting around that need to get used...onion, garlic greens, peppers, carrots, anything goes.
I sometimes add a bottle of beer to this concoction, if I have one laying around.
Bake at 400 for about an hour. This gives the stock a dark rich color and flavor.
After an hour, move the stockpot to the stove and fill with water. Bring the contents to a rolling boil and then simmer for another hour.
If you know that you will have use for the stock in the next week, remove the solids and store in the fridge. You'll be able to remove the fat easily once cooled. I have found though that this recipe just doesn't produce that much fat...most of it was removed in the initial cooking.
If you aren't so sure you'll be able to use it up, bring the stock back to a rolling boil and allow it to reduce to a thick syrupy consistency. I freeze them in an ice cube tray and pop them into recipes for an instant flavor boost with little or no extra fat and calories.
Enjoy!
This is a recipe I have been tweaking for the last couple of years and the results are fantastic.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.
Take the carcass of a chicken you have previously grilled, baked, boiled, whatever and put it into a stock pot. I keep the pasta insert in the stockpot so that I can easily separate the solids from the stock. I throw in whatever vegetables I have sitting around that need to get used...onion, garlic greens, peppers, carrots, anything goes.
I sometimes add a bottle of beer to this concoction, if I have one laying around.
Bake at 400 for about an hour. This gives the stock a dark rich color and flavor.
After an hour, move the stockpot to the stove and fill with water. Bring the contents to a rolling boil and then simmer for another hour.
If you know that you will have use for the stock in the next week, remove the solids and store in the fridge. You'll be able to remove the fat easily once cooled. I have found though that this recipe just doesn't produce that much fat...most of it was removed in the initial cooking.
If you aren't so sure you'll be able to use it up, bring the stock back to a rolling boil and allow it to reduce to a thick syrupy consistency. I freeze them in an ice cube tray and pop them into recipes for an instant flavor boost with little or no extra fat and calories.
Enjoy!
I am thankful...
I have been silent for a while now because it seems that I am tearing up more and more lately, and I truly don't wish to distress anyone. Yet, the desire for a family is on the forefront of my mind. (I am sure the hormones and injections don't really help either!) So I apologize if you have been on the receiving end of one of my come aparts :-) Paul has gotten the brunt of most of them and he has been so so sweet.
Yesterday morning I awoke to a sweet email from my dear sister-in-law with great words of encouragement and faith that I so needed to hear. She pointed me to a friends blog and I read through her story with tears streaming down my face. (as a side note, her story is a chicken soup for the soul with a great ending, so if you need a heartwarming story, especially if you are struggling with infertility this is a great read...lotsofscotts.blogspot.com.) What struck me most profoundly was her faith and the gentle reminder that God has a plan for my life and that He WILL fulfill the desires of my heart.
Psalm 37:4 (New International Version, ©2011)
4 Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
I am so thankful!
Yesterday morning I awoke to a sweet email from my dear sister-in-law with great words of encouragement and faith that I so needed to hear. She pointed me to a friends blog and I read through her story with tears streaming down my face. (as a side note, her story is a chicken soup for the soul with a great ending, so if you need a heartwarming story, especially if you are struggling with infertility this is a great read...lotsofscotts.blogspot.com.) What struck me most profoundly was her faith and the gentle reminder that God has a plan for my life and that He WILL fulfill the desires of my heart.
Psalm 37:4 (New International Version, ©2011)
4 Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
I am so thankful!
19.3.11
Round Two update
The short story is that round two was not successful. No big reason why, other than these things take a few tries. In hindsight it was a little silly to expect it to work immediately. I guess having been trying for so long now that my patience is running thin. For the next couple of cycles we are going to continue with the femera/metformin drugs with timed intercourse. Dr Harper seems to think that I am doing great and should keep trying. The hardest part about this is not letting it completely overtake the rest of my life. And as much as I wish that I could remain aloof to it all, that just isn't realistic. So, please don't be offended when I can't make it to the party, forget to call, or simply spend the day nesting at home ignoring phone calls. Its nothing personal. I promise.
13.3.11
TWW
Well, its been two weeks (almost). EPT this morning came back negative...but until i start my period that really doesn't mean much. In the meantime, i have been nauseaus, exhausted, dizzy, and craving mac and cheese like nobodies business. I am going to feel pretty stupid if its all in my head! The emotional strain is exhausting. If i am not in fact pregnant it is so tempting to call it quits and head straight to DHR :-)
As the waiting game continues...Spring has sprung in Huntsville!
Pimientos de Padron (little peppers from Spain - most of these will go to friends since I don't have any vegetable garden sun after the additon...let me know if you want one!)
As the waiting game continues...Spring has sprung in Huntsville!
The daffodils are almost all gone, but they start peaking through the ground at the end of February and are a great reminder that Spring is near (as well as the end of tax season :-)
Granny B's daylilies look fantastic...just a few short weeks ago, this bed looked like a pile of dead leaves :-) They should be spectacular this year!
I planted pansies in the fall and due to the harsh winter, i really didn't think they would make it! However, they look spectacular right now!
Todays project: get some plants into this front bed. I have been weeding it for a year now, but it doesn't have anything in it! I plan to take some of Granny B's garden phlox that is behind the cherry tree and put them out here to see if they do better.
This is either a lemon or lime tree. I rarely put tags in my plants and then I forget what in the world I planted! It smells amazing and can't wait to get it outdoors so it can really take off!
Peachtree is in full bloom. I am going to call a tree service this week to care for it through the harvest!
Since I cannot do veggies in my yard anymore, I have turned to flowers! My grow light is great therapy during the cold winter months, allowing me to get my garden started!
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