The Honest Truth

I am a little nervous about this post.  But here it is.  I have always used this blog as a place to be transparent and honest, so here goes.

I happily dropped Matthew off at daycare this morning.

There. I said it. Happily! Gladly!  Going to work felt like a vacation!

We had a rough weekend.  With Paul on the home stretch towards the end of tax season, he was working most of the weekend while I tried my best to do laundry, make dinner, and tidy up the house AND keep a fussy baby happy.  By Sunday evening I was not a pleasant person. And I felt horrible that everything out of my mouth was just plain acidic. By the time I went to bed, I was in tears thankful that my sweet overworked husband loves me anyway.

So, for those who have chosen to stay home with your babies, my utmost respect.  I can't do it.  Well, no, I won't do it.  Because I could do it if I really set my mind to it.  But I am choosing not to.  There, I said it. I am choosing not to.

The wonderful thing is that by early afternoon I could barely contain myself in anticipation of picking him up!

Today gave me a good feel for what my days will be like with Matthew.  Up, ready for work, drop off Matthew, work, pick up Matthew, home, bath, book, a bottle and to bed.  Start over.

This also helped me come to the following conclusion:  I no longer have time for all of the things I previously had time for.  I just need to accept that and move on.  I need to stop trying to do all of the things I have an inclination to do.  So, if you don't see me for a while, it's not personal.  I am just spending the little time I do have before and after work and on weekends with my sweet baby Mateo.  Family comes first.